As Promised

I said I had an idea for a new post, and now I've got to deliver. Remember me talking about self-discipline and whatnot? My experience recently has led me to realize something yet again.

In my lack of self-discipline in academic pursuits, I found my grades were starting to take a hit. Wanting to get my grades back up, I decided that I would ask certain professors if there were any opportunities for make-up/extra credit. This is all well and good, but asking this came at a cost.

I had to own up to my shortcomings.

Make no mistake, few who do not suffer from depression or an unhealthy self-perspective find it easy to own up to failures and shortcomings. Doing so this week, admitting to my professors that I had been offering less than my best, was no easy task whatsoever.

I'm fairly certain that I'm naturally gifted in academic matters, so this is especially a difficult thing to own up to. That being said, doing so was both necessary and good, for I learned something:

Despite the injury to my pride that came with owning up to these shortcomings, there is a certain relief and freedom that comes with this admission of shortcoming. The admission of incomplete humanity (that is to say the element of humanity that is weak and prone to failure) brings with it the reminder that perfection is neither held nor attainable.

In a less wordy fashion: my pride may have taken a hit recently, but I can let go of this notion that I am, or ought to be, without any faults because of it. It's a load of pressure taken off of my shoulders, and it's nice.

This isn't to say that I should revel in my flaws, far from it, but being honest about them is hugely underrated.