Regarding Love

I'm defining two words/expressions for the sake of this post. They may not be the definitions you're used to, but they're the ones I'm going to use here, so it's probably a good idea that we're on the same page.

1. Love - love is an action wherein you pour yourself out for the benefit of another with no regard for personal gain
2. In love - being in love is a conscious/emotional state of being

You can love someone without being in love with that person. Likewise, being in love with someone does not require loving that person. Sadly, it seems all too often in my listening to others that people get caught up in a desire to be in love such that it is a self-serving pursuit of an emotional high.

But I'm going to write a personally revealing post rather than a social criticism for once, so I'm not gonna go down that path today. Instead, I will say this:

I am designed, and perhaps even need, to love. I can speak highly of myself all day long, I can honestly like myself a great deal, but I ultimately need to have people around me that I can pour myself into for their gain with no regards for my own. I don't mean to imply that all people are in need of me, not in the least, but it's in my very nature to love. Though I speak of relationships in general here, it is especially true of romantic relationships.

Conversely, I have quite the capacity for being in love, and you'll find few guys (my age, in this era, anyhow) who seem to have more romantic creativity than me, but I'm not constantly longing for that emotional state. It's pleasant enough, but I can ultimately live without it.

I think that this could be why I'm presently single. I seek (and promise) a deep, meaningful relationship that revolves around love rather than throwing around my potential for being in love. I would most prefer love and being in love, but I'd rather set up a foundation of love before falling in love than fall in love and hope that a life of love follows.

Do I think this is the way it should be for everyone? Perhaps. I do think adopting such a perspective would result in far less heartbreak. Then again, my approach hasn't won many ladies over. Unfortunate, that. Numerous guys ask me for advice about their relationships (or girls of interest), and my advice works quite well for them. I just prefer not to woo ladies before having a chance to develop a little relational substance.

But then, once that substance develops, I'm too far into the friendzone for anything to change. Go figure.

I would say that I'm digressing from my main points, but this was never intended to be an essay. Think of it more as an introspective. For some strange reason, I felt compelled to speak frankly on a personal matter. It's not the most common thing, but it seems like a good thing every now and then.